Spam and Eggs: Gems from the Spam Filter

Spam & EggsIf you’ve blogged (or twittered) for a while, you’ve probably harvested at least a crop or two of spam.

Ah, the spammers are in bloom again…isn’t it lovely *inhales*

In fact, they may have even been your very first comments. But, as time passed and the spam filter grew fat with bizarrely worded pseudo-comments, you probably began to resent them…especially when the spam far outweighed the legitimate comments.

But maybe we’re not giving spam its due. Sure, most of the time, the “comments” are only fit for the compost bin. But, sometimes, you harvest a few gems, stuff that makes you laugh and/or makes good fodder for a blog post when you’re running a little low on ideas. Maybe it even has something to teach us, as author Jami Gold points out.

Recently, I had a bumper crop, mostly in response to Thus Spake the Dragon and Got Apocalypse. Here are a few prize specimen:

“Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future”

Indeed, you are wise to watch out for brussels. They are tricky beasts. Relax your vigilance for just a moment and they’ll sneak up behind you and stick a spit-moistened finger in your ear, then you’ll be a brussel too…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“Certainly there are millions of more pleasurable times up front for people who browse through your blog.”

Oh yes, millions of pleasurable times up front…but it’s the pay off over time that’s the real joy. We’re talking gazillions here. Gazillions of pleasurable times. Plus…the hardcore facts that will save you from the apocalypse.

“My husband and i have been absolutely relieved that Michael could do his inquiry with the precious recommendations he discovered through your blog. “

This was from Got Apocalypse. You see, their son Michael was inquiring into the process of become a Certified Apocalypse Survival Instructor and the movies I shared were critical to his education. So, study up, folks. The apocalypse is nigh.

“You completed a number of good points there. I did a search on the theme and found mainly people will go along with your blog.”

Mainly, they do…but there is a dissenting faction. We’re planning to take care of them by sending in the dreaded brussels.

“Thank you a lot for providing individuals with remarkably terrific opportunity to read in detail from here. It really is very sweet and also jam-packed with a lot of fun for me personally and my office peers to search your website at least thrice every week to learn the latest guides you have got. Not to mention, I’m so certainly happy with the staggering inspiring ideas served by you.”

You hear that folks? Thrice weekly. Not just once or twice, but thrice. I’m that good.

“I want to express my thanks to you just for bailing me out of this situation. Because of browsing throughout the the net and meeting suggestions that were not beneficial, I was thinking my entire life was gone. Living minus the answers to the problems you have fixed as a result of your good article content is a critical case, and the ones that might have badly affected my entire career if I had not come across your blog post. “

Again, when the apocalypse rolls around and the brussels are attacking in hordes, you’ll be glad you read my blog.

“I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You’re incredible! Thanks!”

It’s true. Your cousin did write this. He didn’t want to but I made him. I threatened to lock him in a room with a brussel.  In the end, though, he saw that writing the post was the right thing to do. For you and the the world.

“I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. “

And this one is just sheer philosophical brilliance. Think about it. The love we receive must be carried out to others. *tears up*

Of course, a ripe crop of spam isn’t the only collateral benefit of blogging. You may find also find tasty search term bits here and there. author Chuck Wendig is famous for  the wild search terms that roam his blog. Check out some of his search term bingos: Search Term Bingo and the Revenge of the Hamster Skin Codpiece, Search Term Bingopocalypse, and Search Term Bingo Stole My Dingo.

Incidentally, spam is very good with eggs. And fried rice. And ramen. And…

Spam and Eggs

Have you harvested any delicious spam or caught any wild search terms? What are your favorites?

***

Image Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
Spam & Eggs by toddsmithdesign, on Flickr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Spam and Eggs by iconsam, on Flickr  CC BY-NC 2.0

If you missed Marcia’s post on creating passion in our lives, be sure to check it out! And stay tuned for David Walker’s post on Wednesday.

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26 responses to “Spam and Eggs: Gems from the Spam Filter

  1. A lot of posts have been written by a the cousin to spam, pham. He’s the one who is deathy afraid of brussels. I would be too.

  2. LOVE this, Sonia! I constantly search hefty resource tomes (Reader’s Digest, mini books with random facts, etc.) while in my bathr library for glob blog fodder.

    Who knew they were there in the SPAM folder? And, how long must I wait until this idea is erased from mutual followers long-term memories so I can steal it?

  3. Alas, I have seen a post or two built around spam, but Sonia, you’ve set the bar high for wit and weaving into a finely threaded post. My cousin agrees. He’d write his own comment, but it’s his turn at sentry duty. We can not rest until the walls are fortified. The brussels march at dawn. Doom is on the horizon.

  4. Pingback: Is Spam Really Bad for You? « Sonia G Medeiros

  5. LOL. Whever I hear spam I think of my brother. He’s 13 years older than me, and I can remember, when I was around 6, him coming in late after dates and cooking spam and ravioli. I’d sneak downstairs and bug him.

    As for spam, I never look at my folders, I just delete them. I see a lot for body part enlargement and dieting stuff. Hmmm. Ooh, search terms. Remember my Monday post The Camel Toe Cup, from months and months ago? It’s in the top two read posts of my blog EVERY DAY. Sometimes it still gets over 150 hits. Perverts out there, lol!

  6. LOL! Thanks for the link! And the warning about brussels. *whew* I had NO idea.

    Hmm, I think I recognize all those spammers. The two-timing cheaters. Hmmph. :)

  7. Spam makes good sushi, by the way.

  8. karenselliott

    Brussels. The city or the sprouts? It makes a difference. If it’s the city, you might want to read it. If it’s the vegetable, delete immediately!! I haven’t eaten Spam in, ah, never. Try turkey bacon. It’s not as decadent, but it’s not bad in a turkey BLT.

  9. Why, oh, why haven’t I saved my spam comments??? This post had me snickering. We get worse ones on my work blog than I do on my blog. I ought to save those. :) Thanks for a great laugh!

  10. I’ve never looked at my spam folder either! Had I known just how fun they could be I would have been all over it. Seriously, a couple of these I suspect you must have made up (just kidding) for how could anyone be this goofy? Thrice indeed.

    Thanks Sonia

    • Nope. That’s 100% pure spam. LOL. I started looking in the fold because a few of my regular commentors had gotten caught there. Then I just kept looking because some of it was so funny. I always meant to write a post but hadn’t done it yet.

  11. I thought my blog was special, but now I see that some people use the same compliments on every blog…curses! ;)

    Actually, I love trawling through my spam. It’s pretty amusing :)

  12. Thank you for the chuckles, and the warning about the brussels. :)

  13. Hi Sonia, I don’t know how I missed you last Friday but I did. I usually never miss your posts. I’m visiting here because my post went up today and I realized I didn’t stop by last Friday. My bad.

    I’ll have spam and eggs any time, never mind via email and blog “comments.” I have a wordpress blog and I average 2 or 3 sign-ups everyday. I haven’t approved one person yet. Many of them have addresses like promotionalposts@yahoo.com. You’d think they were more creative than that. On the other hand, if they were really bright, maybe they wouldn’t have to resort to spamming.

    • I know how it goes. We’re all juggling a lot. No worries. :D

      So true about the spamming. The Twitter spam is the very worst in terms of creativity. Sometimes the blog spam can be pretty hilarious. You would almost think that some of them do work at it. LOL

  14. Pingback: The CAPTCHAS Are Gonna Get Ya « Sonia G Medeiros

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