Spam and Eggs: Gems from the Spam Filter

If you’ve blogged (or twittered) for a while, you’ve probably harvested at least a crop or two of spam.

Ah, the spammers are in bloom again…isn’t it lovely *inhales*

In fact, they may have even been your very first comments. But, as time passed and the spam filter grew fat with bizarrely worded pseudo-comments, you probably began to resent them…especially when the spam far outweighed the legitimate comments.

But maybe we’re not giving spam its due. Sure, most of the time, the “comments” are only fit for the compost bin. But, sometimes, you harvest a few gems, stuff that makes you laugh and/or makes good fodder for a blog post when you’re running a little low on ideas. Maybe it even has something to teach us, as author Jami Gold points out.

Recently, I had a bumper crop, mostly in response to Thus Spake the Dragon and Got Apocalypse. Here are a few prize specimen:

“Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future”

Indeed, you are wise to watch out for brussels. They are tricky beasts. Relax your vigilance for just a moment and they’ll sneak up behind you and stick a spit-moistened finger in your ear, then you’ll be a brussel too…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“Certainly there are millions of more pleasurable times up front for people who browse through your blog.”

Oh yes, millions of pleasurable times up front…but it’s the pay off over time that’s the real joy. We’re talking gazillions here. Gazillions of pleasurable times. Plus…the hardcore facts that will save you from the apocalypse.

“My husband and i have been absolutely relieved that Michael could do his inquiry with the precious recommendations he discovered through your blog. “

This was from Got Apocalypse. You see, their son Michael was inquiring into the process of become a Certified Apocalypse Survival Instructor and the movies I shared were critical to his education. So, study up, folks. The apocalypse is nigh.

“You completed a number of good points there. I did a search on the theme and found mainly people will go along with your blog.”

Mainly, they do…but there is a dissenting faction. We’re planning to take care of them by sending in the dreaded brussels.

“Thank you a lot for providing individuals with remarkably terrific opportunity to read in detail from here. It really is very sweet and also jam-packed with a lot of fun for me personally and my office peers to search your website at least thrice every week to learn the latest guides you have got. Not to mention, I’m so certainly happy with the staggering inspiring ideas served by you.”

You hear that folks? Thrice weekly. Not just once or twice, but thrice. I’m that good.

“I want to express my thanks to you just for bailing me out of this situation. Because of browsing throughout the the net and meeting suggestions that were not beneficial, I was thinking my entire life was gone. Living minus the answers to the problems you have fixed as a result of your good article content is a critical case, and the ones that might have badly affected my entire career if I had not come across your blog post. “

Again, when the apocalypse rolls around and the brussels are attacking in hordes, you’ll be glad you read my blog.

“I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You’re incredible! Thanks!”

It’s true. Your cousin did write this. He didn’t want to but I made him. I threatened to lock him in a room with a brussel.  In the end, though, he saw that writing the post was the right thing to do. For you and the the world.

“I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. “

And this one is just sheer philosophical brilliance. Think about it. The love we receive must be carried out to others. *tears up*

Of course, a ripe crop of spam isn’t the only collateral benefit of blogging. You may find also find tasty search term bits here and there. author Chuck Wendig is famous for  the wild search terms that roam his blog. Check out some of his search term bingos: Search Term Bingo and the Revenge of the Hamster Skin Codpiece, Search Term Bingopocalypse, and Search Term Bingo Stole My Dingo.

Incidentally, spam is very good with eggs. And fried rice. And ramen. And…

Have you harvested any delicious spam or caught any wild search terms? What are your favorites?

***

Image Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
Spam & Eggs by toddsmithdesign, on Flickr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Spam and Eggs by iconsam, on Flickr  CC BY-NC 2.0

If you missed Marcia’s post on creating passion in our lives, be sure to check it out! And stay tuned for David Walker’s post on Wednesday.

Our Passionate Lives

My biggest goal in life is to live with passion and to discover new passions along the way.

In the first half of our adult lives, we are constantly defined by our relations to others such as parents, children, spouses, and bosses.

In the second half of our lives, we can choose to design a new identity. We have the time and the options to find and follow an undiscovered path to our passions.

My research and observations tell me that mature women, those 50-something’s, some nicknamed “Cougars”, have truly taken possession of the second half of their adulthood, and I love being part of that group.

We’re bold and passionate, bursting with vitality and, yet, joyfully mellow.

Age brings its own brand of insecurity. Do you ever feel that women over 50 become invisible to some men? Some men over 50 seem to be looking the way of the younger, thinner, blonder type. (Maybe they have the same worries about their passionate lives as we.)

At first, we may think we can no longer attract a man’s attention…even our own man. Some introspection focused on the positives can help that fear fade.

If we look around, we begin to see celebrated women such as, Raquel Welch, Helen Mirren, and Diane Keaton held as the epitome of “middle-age”. This is a giant signal with flashing lights that we need to embrace the perks of being our age.

What are the benefits of our age?

We have what younger women have, and more!

• We have energy, enthusiasm, wit, passion, drive and wisdom.
• We have more control of our lives, a deeper confidence, a soul-soothing, inner harmony.
• We are amazingly imaginative when we need to develop a network of companionship, fun and purpose to sustain us.

Now is the time to intensify our other attractions.

If you look inward and find no sense of mastery, no belief in yourself, don’t despair! Passion and mastery can be created. Challenge yourself with a specific action, something new you’ve never done before.

Recruit a support system, including those who love you. The experience of succeeding and the positive feedback from your supporters will be the final step in securing the belief that you can create a new identity, one that will liberate you.

With this reawakening of ourselves, we become fortified for whatever lies ahead. Life throws us curves, illnesses beset us or those around us, beauty fades, age takes our loved ones.

Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never turn his back on life. –Eleanor Roosevelt

Curiosity must never die. When one door closes, another opens. We have to have the courage to walk through the door without looking back.

We can tap into the skills and talents that have lain dormant, unused. We can search for meaningfulness. We deserve lives full with quality — great emotional and physical health, relationships that enhance our being, a purpose that helps us grow.

You don’t have to be over 50 to adopt this way of living, either. Anyone at any age is capable of bringing more passion into their life.

Living with passion should be on everyone’s life list, right? My passions keep me learning something new everyday! That’s most of what makes up my Life List!

How do you live your life with passion? Tell us about something new you’ve tried recently. Is it on your Life List?

Be sure to come back on Friday! The fabulous Sonia Medeiros will be here to enlighten and entertain!

When is Wasting Time Not a Waste of Time?

We all know how it starts. One innocent little Google search leads to another and then another. Pretty soon we’re on  I Can Has Cheezburger, staring at page after page of cute/silly/stupid/funny animals doing whatever until our butts are numb. Or that one game of solitaire or Bejeweled turns into fifty (give or take a few dozen). Or, that search through the pantry for the candy bar we hid results in a complete reorganization of our food storage system which naturally leads us to finally alphabetize those DVDs and sort the clothes in our closet by color and season.

When we come to our senses, the guilt sets in. We’ve just wasted time.

*gasp* Oh the horror!

We all know how evil it is to waste time. After all, time is precious, time is money and wasting time means we’re throwing away valuable minutes and hours we can never recover. Whatever project we were supposed to be working on will take that much longer. There can be nothing redeeming about wasting time.

Or can there?

According to author and entrepreneur Seth Godin, wasting time well is key to a happy, creative and productive life. It gives us a chance to relax and experiment, to work on a project just for the joy of it. Time well wastes replenishes our creativity and is a boon to our productivity.

But what exactly is time well wasted?

That would be time that we spend freely playing, letting ourselves decompress and explore. When we are done wasting time well, we should feel refreshed, ready to tackle new projects and see challenges in a new light.

Clearly not all wasted time is well wasted, as many last-minute college papers and haphazardly thrown together projects can testify, but neither is all wasted time another form of procrastination.

The trick is to know the difference and to only waste as much time as we need to replenish ourselves.

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to waste time (well, I hope):

• StumbleUpon: Flipping through web pages based on a particular interest is incredibly relaxing and inspires my biweekly Friday Stumbles.
• Games on the iPhone or iPad: Currently, I’m playing The Tribez but I’ve also enjoyed many well-wasted hours with Plants vs Zombies. I do have to watch myself with games like these as it’s very easy to go from time well wasted to just plain old wasted time.
• Rearranging stuff: Yeah, I know. Probably a weird way to waste time. But I sometimes get the urge to overhaul the bookshelves or rearrange the living room furniture.
• Browsing bookstores and libraries with no real intention of buying/checking out anything.

What do you think about wasted time? Is there a way to waste it well? What are your favorite ways to waste time?

If you haven’t had the chance to check out last week’s posts, you’re really missing out. On Wednesday, Sherry Isaac talked about setting goals that make us strive and, on Friday, Marcia Richards talked about her ten commandments for living well.

Stay tuned, Gary Gauthier will be here Friday.

Image Attribution (In Order of Appearance):
My balogna had a first name?!? via cheezeburger.com

10 Personal Commandments for Living Well

Welcome back to the Life List Club! If this is your first time here, check the archives for some amazing posts. If you missed Sherry Isaac’s post on Wednesday, you can read it HERE.

We all have a set of rules we live by, whether we state them or not. They may reflect our values and morals, our thoughts on how to be the best we can be or simply lists of things we carry in our heads and use everyday – ‘I will do this, I won’t do that’.

I definitely won’t do anything illegal. I won’t deliberately hurt anyone. I will love my family. I will take care of my responsibilities. I will be accountable for my behavior. I won’t lie, cheat or betray.These are a given, for me. Let’s go deeper…let’s give these bones some muscle:

(Bet you couldn’t tell I’m a list-maker…hence the Life List Club. Without a list of goals, plans and to-do’s, I’d lose my way.)

1) Eat - Healthy, that is. No diets, no forbidden foods. Just lots of good-for-you-food. Whole grains, fruits, vegetables, eggs, low-sugar-fat-free yogurt, chicken/turkey/fish, olive oil, nuts and a little bit of dark, dark chocolate.

Great walk-at-home program.

2) Move – Reaching for the remote to change the channel does not count as moving. Walking from the couch to the refrigerator and taking a stroll in the park barely counts. What counts most is a brisk walk, a morning run and lifting weights. But you can also count raking leaves, scrubbing floors and digging in the garden. Move enough to break a sweat. Then you’re burning calories and improving your circulation. (Now you can have an extra piece of chocolate.)

3) Love - Love yourself first – love every bulge, gray hair and wacky personality trait. Then love everyone else – your family, your crazy relatives, your nosy next-door neighbor, the bag lady roaming downtown, the grumpy cashier at Wal-Mart, your pet and all the animals outside your  front door…even the raccoon that tips over your garbage can.   

4) Laugh - Giggles are good, but let them grow into roaring belly laughs, the ones that take your breath away, the ones that won’t stop. Those are the healthiest laughs. You’ve probably heard that laughing decreases stress, increases immune cells and releases endorphins. Did you know it also keeps your blood cells healthy and increases blood flow protecting your heart? (You’ve earned another little piece of dark chocolate yumminess.)

5) Live - Simply breathing, working, eating and sleeping constitutes one way of living. Another way is to choose to seek out new experiences everyday. A person’s financial circumstances will determine how far afield one can go to challenge yourself and explore, but there’s something valuable to discover even in your own backyard.

6) Learn - Learning new things is one my greatest passions. How about you? There are unlimited resources for learning and unlimited things to learn. How to write, how to fix a faucet and how to take great photographs, historical events, how to use your smartphone and how to grow broccoli. Learning stimulates the brain, fends off diseases of aging, can help you connect with other like-minded people, prevents boredom and encourages creativity. 

7) Give – Helping and supporting others is good for the soul and it comes back to you in unexpected ways. Give money, kindness, love,  time, attention, food or a smile. Send a cheerful card to an elderly person living alone; take a meal to sick friend; babysit for a harried mother; let someone ahead of you in line; send a goody package to a college student or a faraway soldier. We have so much to give, even when you think you have nothing at all anyone would want.

8) Thank - Gratitude is a gift that is always welcome. A simple ‘thank you’ is gracious. Don’t wait long to give your thanks. It will weigh too heavily on your heart.

9) Connect – People need people. Simple as that. People live longer, healthier lives when they have happy relationships with a loved one or a pet. Building a satisfying relationship requires learning, giving, thanking and loving. Reach out…and touch someone – just be careful where you touch. 

10) Teach – In my opinion, we have a responsibility to pass along whatever we have learned through living. Teaching is a form of giving and connecting. All of us has something to teach others…unless you’ve lived in a cave all alone. But even then, you can teach someone the art of living alone and cooking for one.

Okay, now go reward yourself with some dark chocolate for your endless virtuosity.

What’s in your Ten Personal Commandments? Are you a list-maker like me, or are you fortunate to have the power of unlimited recall? Please share. I’d really like to know.

If you enjoyed this post, please visit me anytime at my blog, Sexy. Smart. From The Heart.